Introducing the Female Flight of the Conchords: Garfunkel and Oates

Well, damn. Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci, how did I not know about y’all till now? They’re not Bret and Jemaine yet, but it’s just a matter of time before they do their own version of “Mermaids.”

When Parties Take a Turn for the Douche: A jewel complete with Axe body spray, Margaret Sanger and John [...]

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The Incredibly Unincredible Indian Casino

Dear Carla Fran,
While you think of heists and malls I am thinking of casinos. Not the Las Vegas fun-park variety with their plastified fun and can-canning fountains but the kind that exist on the outskirts of cities. The sort where Big Brother’s watching, the drinks taste like water and even the smoking seems a little [...]

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The End Days

Dear Millicent,
Just when healthcare is a major news story, and the public is examining the essentials of money and access, the new eyelash growing drug Latisse is in full promotional throttle.  Insurance companies swear they want what’s best for us, and those against the public option swear that the current system really is on our [...]

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Odd Saint: Valentino

My source is Valentino; The Last Emperor, a recent documentary (Netflix Wonder) about the year leading to the great designer’s retirement.  It is a great movie because it lets us peep into the lives of the very rich, and the very creative.  There is also a strong subtext about the changing tides of fashion: now [...]

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All’s Well

Dear M.,
Here’s a happy news piece to marry our heists and complicated knots that end well, and with great charm.  Emma Thompson’s mum, Phyllida Law, has been returned her stolen gargoyles.  Yes, Phyllida, gargoyles.
And, she got them back by “posting a warning on her shrubs” announcing that she had put a curse on the thief. [...]

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Overwhelmment

Thrilling real-life heists!
I am drunk because my life feels like it’s grown too big this week, though not quite in the heisty way. Things that might actually happen on top of The Usual Things That Happen (which tonight involved cajun-spiced fries and beer):

Getting a divorce.
Getting an additional full-time-ish job that would require me to have [...]

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Heist!

Dearest,
Just when I am set on believing that life is the anti-novel, with no real arcs or perfectly synchronized spectacles, along come the thiefs of Sweden.  Today they broke into a cash depot in Stockholm by dropping a stolen helicopter on the building, smashing a glass pyramid, setting off explosives, and then using ropes and [...]

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Midniiiiight, Not a Sound on the Paaaavement

Carlita Fran,
Concerning the insult of being forgotten by the senex we love: could it be that, in addition to selfishness, it might just hurt that the project of family-building unravels some when its oldest members stop knitting?
In one way your grandmother and her unrecognized recipe is an old and terrible story. Everyone forgets. But the [...]

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Memory Part 2: Such, Such Were the Joys

In an ode to images lost, I would like to map out the mall of our youth.  As outdoor plazas with fountains and citywalks with bold names take over (the Americana, La Encantada, Discover Mills), I would like to remember The Mall.
The Mall was where my friends (all three of us) and I were dropped [...]

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Memory Part 1

Dear Millicent,
I have been thinking about my grandmother’s memory.  On a recent visit home, my mom made a famous dish in the family, one that we love to love out of reverence for joint comfort and an agreed upon proof that there were joys in their family.  When we cook this recipe, it’s to honor [...]

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