Turkey Is In, No Shit

Dear Millicent,

I am sure you are familiar now with Gwyneth Paltrow’s pet project Goop, and the amount of vitriol it has inspired.  Jezebel covers its absurdities quite well.  Today, Gwynnie was vomitous in a helpful way: she offered a perfect example of a particular kind of annoyance that was mentioned in our earlier conversations of ownership, pop culture, and firecrackers.  In today’s Goop missive (“Make”) she preaches that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday, and that turkey will always be a must-have…and then she puts in the very irritating parenthetical “(at least in my house).”  She writes this as if she is a rebel or stalwart, and suggests that she has an authentically special appreciation for turkey.  Has anybody told her that turkey is close to the heart of most Thanksgiving dinners?  That she has staked her flag on communal turf?  That she is wind-bagging and preaching to a choir that has found the delights of turkey without her benediction?
In short, she has given a very fast example of the annoyance of the firecracker that delivers a supreme opinion about something that is already installed in common life.  This is a strange power play because it leaves the rest of us still liking the original thing, but put in the weird predicament of having no way to disagree, and, unless we are fully up to it, simply acquiescing and allowing them the strange fake power they have created/asserted.

Ah Goop, every time I get an update I get happy.  It’s so nice to have large neutral target to get my hate on with.

Thanks Gwynnie,

CF

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