Hello Start! I Would Like Instant Discipline Now, Thanks.

Dear Millicent,

Your description of your party reminds me of how I feel on Facebook. Let’s place the party’s strange outcome under the heading “astrological event.”  It wasn’t you, it was the planets (and I also blame the zombies and werewolves).

As for novel month—-it’s November.  Let’s Do This.  I have gone so far as to actually register on the site.  They say they send you pep talks, and I am a happy chump when it comes to pep talks.  You should register, too, and then we can be “buddies.”  Admittedly, I did choose an innocuous username.

To get this baby done, we are supposed to write at least 1667 words a day, or, like Weight Watchers, spread it around if we are too light on certain days.   They recommend starting big, to get some of the word count off, and they recommend writing with others.  I am your ghost, sitting next to you, and you are mine. Please picture me in a caftan with a bejeweled ciggarrette holder smartly pinched in the corner of my mouth, so that when I mutter to you about how “goddamn Belinda will not stay away from that stable boy!” it sounds really really posh.

They recommend tips of their own for this first week (no revision EVER (music to my ears, perhaps not to yours), don’t worry about where you’re going, etc.).

I offer a few choice rules of our own for this week (and say we add a new batch to the gauntlet every week or so).

Here’ some to consider:

1.) You have to choose theme music to write to for at least one hour today.

2.) Somebody has to undress somebody else in the first 3000 words.

3.) The novel needs a spirit animal.

4.) If you don’t know what to write, you have to describe the anatomy of an organ, or a pickling recipe.

5.)  If you can work in a wolf chase, you get to keep the bejeweled ciggarrette holder forever.

Let this snippet from their first pep talk be our motto this month: In November, all words are good words.

Isn’t there a beer called 1667?

Let’s stash our egos under our beds, and run like Phoebe in the park (oh yes, random Friends reference).  I’m saying fuck it to the firecrackers.  I’m writing a novel this month.  We can take turns driving the motorboat.




2 Responses to Hello Start! I Would Like Instant Discipline Now, Thanks.

  1. Carla Fran says:

    Soundtrack, day 1: Yoshimi Battles the Robots.

  2. Millicent says:

    Nothing, I am ashamed to say. Well…. bakery noises?

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