36 Things That Did or Did Not Happen While My Partner was Out of Town
June 1, 2011 3 Comments
- Fruit molded in the sink
- Four episodes of Mrs. Marple were watched (the good one, with Joan Hickson)
- Sometimes, I slept with the lights on.
- I woke up every three or so hours thinking I heard a noise.
- The cat began sleeping on top of me.
- The cat and I invented a new game where a blanket hangs off the couch, which he then hides behind to hunt the string that I walk by with.
- I accepted every social invitation.
- I got a Dixie Chicks CD out of the library, and it was about all kinds of unpop things: infertility, divorce, parents with Alzheimer’s, and the crappiness of fame.
- I also got a Prince CD out of the library, on the cover he is wearing a bandanna, a leather jacket, and a thong.
- All these discs got stuck in my car CD player when it decided to pretend it had no discs. NO DISC. NO DISC. NO DISC.
- I also checked out a library book that came up as another book called “Swimming,” which I did not check out. But, according to the library computer, I have this invisible book. They can’t find it on the shelf, and are sure I have it. This CD eating is not going to help my case.
- I made an effort to talk to a person every day.
- I wrote an episode of Friday Night Lights where Hastings is gay, and Tami has to teach Sex Ed.
- I allowed some pretty mediocre BBC into the house. Monday Monday, Inspector Lynley, Waking the Dead.
- The vegetables I bought at the market pretty much rotted in the fridge.
- I ate cookies for two days of meals.
- I bought a teapot.
- I carry the teapot around the house with me like a small dog.
- I did not want to eat the barley soup I had made too much of. I did not want to make Daikon greens and soft rice with miso.
- I got pissed that I have seen all the costume dramas on Netflix instant.
- I did not meditate every day.
- I did not go visit any museums, or bring my laptop so I could work there.
- I did not go on any kind of amusing adventure by myself, unless buying tea at Whole Foods counts, which it doesn’t.
- I didn’t remind myself of myself the last time I lived alone, almost 10 years ago.
- I had no epiphanies of unfiltered self, except for mess.
- I did not buy potholders, plants, or new sneakers.
- I dyed my hair practically white. On Skype, a friend’s baby thought I was his grandmother.
- I decided blooming peonies look like sushi–either the ginger, or salmon sashimi.
- I trashed the apartment in the most boring of ways: clothes on the bathroom floor, mail everywhere, chopped vegetables left on the counter, every drawer open, really no place to land a foot without stepping on some kind of paper.
- I did not drink.
- I did not have nightmares.
- I’m pretty excited about sleeping in the dark again.
- My only revelation is that it was not a wild vacation, or a grand reform.
- I will still probably clean the house tonight like a teenager expecting their parents home.
- Does age reduce all delights to modge-podging while listening to the dulcet tones of Arrested Development repeats?
- I made a list.